Mental Health and the Engineer's Mind: Exiting the Fast Lane

Imposter Syndrome: The Unspoken Struggle

It wasn't just the stress that got to me. It was the imposter syndrome—the idea that everyone else had their act together and I was just faking it. I would base my confidence on how much I knew or how many projects I could juggle. It felt like I was always one slip-up away from being "found out." When I became a firefighter, it shifted: suddenly my value was in my physical prowess. But it was just trading one set of unrealistic expectations for another.

And you know what? A lot of engineers feel this way. We're scared to admit what we don't know, afraid to show weakness, and constantly comparing ourselves to an impossible ideal that no one actually lives up to. So, how do we change the narrative?

Stepping Back to Step Forward

One of the best decisions I ever made was to step away from that relentless cycle. I had to ask myself: What am I good at, and what do I want my life to look like? For me, it was about playing to my strengths and minimizing exposure to the things that were draining me. My strength is helping people—building things that make life easier, better, or just more manageable for someone else. My weakness? Repetitive, monotonous work that leaves me burned out.

This is why I founded SurvAI. I wanted to bring AI into the realm of human support—to help people access mental health resources in a way that doesn't require a waitlist or office hours. The idea is to use technology to make something good, to help people avoid the traps I fell into.

We have to remember: We're not just engineers; we're human beings with limits, emotions, and needs. There's no shame in recognizing that, and even less in taking steps to protect our mental health.

The Engineering Culture: Time to Redefine "Success"

Engineering culture has glorified the grind for too long. It's time to redefine what success means. Is it lines of code? Projects completed? Or maybe it's the ability to do all of that without sacrificing your well-being. We don't have to run ourselves into the ground to be good at what we do. In fact, I'd argue that true skill lies in knowing your limits and setting boundaries.

Imagine if we all said, "Enough is enough" and started taking our mental health seriously. If we made therapy a norm in the engineering community, if we talked about burnout openly without shame, if we collectively decided that a healthy engineer is better than an overworked one.

The first step is as simple as just admitting you don't know something. Or that something is beyond your capabilities. Humility is one of the toughest things but one of the bravest things you can do.

Final Thoughts: Exiting the Fast Lane

To all my fellow engineers: it's okay to step out of the fast lane. It's okay to admit when it's too much, and it's okay to not have all the answers. In fact, it's more than okay—it's necessary.

Take a deep breath, close your laptop, and go for a walk. Talk to someone about how you're feeling—whether it's a friend, a family member, or a therapist. Remember, you're more than just the code you write. You're more than the bugs you fix or the deadlines you meet. You are human, and your well-being matters.

Find something that speaks to you and truly makes you happy. Here at SurvAI, I'm building a company that can give back. I want to use the services of SurvAI to make therapy more accessible and give therapists the tools they need to help.

Let's continue the conversation.

What are your experiences with burnout, imposter syndrome, or managing mental health in a high-pressure job? Connect with me on linked in or send me an email at [email protected] —I'd love to hear your stories.